


It's For The Best

by vlvtfireside



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with Sad Ending, Break Up, Break Up Talk, Broke Up But Still Love Each Other, Friends to Lovers, How Do I Tag, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, My Comfort Ship But I Made Them Suffer, Sad Ending, Unhealthy Relationships, friends to strangers, lovers to strangers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:27:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29824932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vlvtfireside/pseuds/vlvtfireside
Summary: "I think it’s for the best if we just break up at this point. It’s better than staying together as a couple when all we do is hurt each other."
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	It's For The Best

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this week ago so i do not remember process of writing but i'm sure i was just bored and went "i know iwaoi is my comfort ship but lemme make them suffer lmao" so,, yeah that's it enjoy :D

“I think it’s for the best if we just break up at this point. It’s better than staying together as a couple when all we do is hurt each other.”

Oikawa remembered the day these words left Iwaizumi’s mouth too well despite the fact that almost three years have passed since then. Hell, how could he forget the day Iwaizumi straight up dumped him? It wasn’t that Oikawa could blame him, he understood why he made that decision, knowing well that it wasn’t easy for either of them, it really was the only way out from their relationship – the relationship neither of them enjoyed at this point anymore. It felt forced, like they weren’t able to be themselves around each other and for some weird reason they had to pretend to be someone else in fear that one of them would leave. Neither of them was strong enough to leave.

Iwaizumi finally got the courage to end everything when Oikawa lied to him, again, instead of saying the truth that he didn’t want to hang out he lied to him. That was the last straw for the him, he decided it was enough to stay with Oikawa in a relationship.

It wasn’t only Oikawa that lied in a relationship, though, of course not. Few times he even caught Iwaizumi being in a place where he told him he wasn’t, Oikawa didn’t say anything about it, too afraid Iwaizumi would leave him. He still did, eventually.

Being together as a couple was way harder than being best friends. When Oikawa confessed and Iwaizumi returned his feelings too, both of them thought that nothing would change between them even if they got together because why would it happen? They’ve been by each other’s side and have been friends since they could even walk properly.

That’s why it was so shocking for them when things, in fact, did change between them, and they didn’t like that change. Yet, they still thought they would be able to push through it and make it work. They were wrong. Very wrong.

Iwaizumi broke up with him when they were in their last year of high school. Oikawa tried to push his feelings down, convincing himself that Iwaizumi didn’t mean to break his heart, that he did what Oikawa didn’t have courage to do because he was too much of a coward.

“I’m sorry, Tooru. I don’t want to break your heart but we both know this is-“ Iwaizumi said with low voice, not looking up from the ground. They were behind the school building at 10 am, Oikawa mentally cursing Iwaizumi for not doing it after they went home.

“It’s fine, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa interrupted with sad smile on his face. It wasn’t, it was everything but fine, but Tooru wasn’t going to show it. He already knew how bad Iwaizumi felt about breaking his heart – both of theirs, actually.

Both of them felt like their hearts were being poked by needles thousand times over and over and over again, then there was feeling of someone ripping their heart in half. They tried to ignore it. It was for the best. They knew that, but why did it hurt so badly?

“Can we at least try and stay friends? Maybe things will go back the way they were, with our friendship, I mean.” Oikawa asked, hope in his eyes and fear in his voice. Iwaizumi knew he would ask that, and this was the question he feared the most.

“I-I think that maybe-“ Oikawa already knew what Iwaizumi was going to say. If he was going to say the answer Tooru wanted to hear, he would just answer “yes, of course we can.” Simply. But he didn’t start with that. Oikawa felt how tears started to build in his eyes, suddenly feeling like there was something big stuck in his throat that didn’t allow him to breath. “Maybe it’s better if we… try and stay away from each other… for a while.”

“W-why?” Oikawa knew why, but he wanted to hear Iwaizumi’s answer anyways. He fisted his shaky hand and put them in the pocket of his jacket.

Sure, he always knew break ups hurt like hell, but breaking up with his childhood best friend who he has been in love with since they were in middle school and plus, he was not only losing him as a boyfriend, he was losing him as a friend too hurt more than he could even put into words. “We can just forget about our romantic relationship and-“

“You know you won’t be able to do that, Tooru. And you know I won’t be either. I can’t just… forget everything and lock my feelings in a box, throwing it away. I can’t just forget the memories of us cuddling, kissing, and having sex. I can’t just forget the way I-“ Iwaizumi shook his head and stopped talking but Oikawa knew very well what he was going to say. “We’ve been with each other since the day we were born, we technically didn’t do anything separately, and one was always by another’s side. Hell, we don’t even know if we’re able to play volleyball without each other. Will I be able to spike the ball when another setter tosses it to me? Will you be able to set to another someone else the way you set for me? We should at least try being separate for a while, figure out ourselves, on our own. It’s for the best.”

_“I can’t just forget the way I love you, Tooru.”_

“Yeah… It’s for the best.” Oikawa whispered, turning around and walking away from Iwaizumi, his ex-boyfriend and probably ex-friend now, without looking back. He didn’t want him to see tears in Tooru’s eyes. Oikawa knew Iwaizumi didn’t want to cause him pain, he knew how much he meant to Hajime but _god_ , he felt like his world was crashing down and it was his fault. It was his fault for not doing his part in the relationship.

_“It’s for the best.”_

Everyone noticed that something happened between them, but all of them decided to not bring it up – thinking it was just another weekly fight that only lasted for few hours and then they acted like nothing even happened. But this time it was different.

Four hours passed, they didn’t talk to each other. Oikawa almost failed his math exam because Iwaizumi wasn’t there to quietly help him.

Five hours passed, they still didn’t talk to each other. Iwaizumi almost couldn’t get ball on other side of the court because Oikawa’s sets were off.

Six hours passed, they didn’t even look at each other.

When Oikawa pretended he was looking for something in his locker that was probably not even there, waiting for Iwaizumi to leave so then he could leave too, that was when his friends decided that whatever happened between them was really serious.

“Okay, what is going on between you two?” Matsukawa asked, blocking Oikawa’s way so he could not get out from the locker room.

“What are you talking about.” He wasn’t dumb, he knew what Issei meant, he just didn’t want to talk about it. Plus, he didn’t want to talk about it when others were still there.

“Can you guys…” Hanamaki didn’t even have to finish the sentence, other boys were already nodding and leaving the room. Oikawa could swear he heard Yahaba hiss something towards Kyoutani. He let out a sigh because he knew the pair didn’t plan on leaving Oikawa alone till they got the answers they wanted. Hanamaki snapped his fingers in front of Oikawa’s eyes, bringing his attention to himself. “Explain.”

“Explain what, exactly?”

“Oh please, do not play stupid with us, Oikawa. It might work with first and second years but we’ve known you longer than that, we know when you’re lying straight through your teeth.”

_Not true. Only Hajime knows me that well. He’s the one who knows me the best._

“We just want to help you, Oikawa. The whole day you and Hajime have been acting like you’re not together anym- oh…” The realization hit them as soon as Oikawa looked at them with cold expression and tears in his eyes.

“So, he dumped you and you’re sitting here crying?” Oikawa would lie if he said he didn’t get intimidated by the hint of anger in Matsukawa’s voice. “What the fuck, Oikawa? You love him, don’t you? Then go and talk to him, go make it work somehow!”

“You don’t understand!” Hanamaki couldn’t stop himself from taking a step behind because of sudden shout from Oikawa. He couldn’t remember the last time he heard him yelling. “He is right! Our relationship wasn’t perfect, hell, it wasn’t even healthy to begin with! All we did was hurt each other, yet still stay with each other because we were too scared of breaking up. Hajime turned out to be stronger out from both of us and finally said what I had in mind but wasn’t able to say for months! You don’t get it, he is right! But it still hurts so badly…” Oikawa sobbed out the last sentence, sliding his hands in his hair and tugging the ends of strands a little bit. _Why does it hurt so badly…_ “I didn’t only lose him as a lover, I lost him as a partner and as a friend, so don’t tell me to stop crying and go talk to him when we all know talking will not do anything.”

“But… But you guys always find your way back to each other…”

“Not this time…” Oikawa said, taking his bag from the floor and walking out quickly from the locker room before his friends could say anything else.

He knew they meant well and only wanted to help but right now, he just wanted to be alone. He knew there was no way he could get Hajime back as a boyfriend, but he still had little hope he would be able to get him back as a friend… someday…

They finished high school as if they were strangers.

Even people from opposite teams noticed that something happened between them, but didn’t say anything because they were sure as hell it was none of their business. Their parents also could tell by the fact that they didn’t even speak to each other when they went over to each other’s houses for dinner.

During one dinner, Oikawa’s mom decided to ask them what were there going to do after graduation, asking if they were going to same university or not. That was when Oikawa quickly cut her off, saying that he and Hajime broke up two weeks ago, causing everyone to look at boys with shocked expression on their faces.

Hajime didn’t even dare to make eye contact with Tooru, he just got up, thanked for dinner and then quickly walked in his room after apologizing. They sat in silence for few minutes, then Tooru got up too, saying what Hajime said and walking out from the house, wanting to be in his room because every little corner in Iwaizumi’s house reminded him a memory he had with Hajime. It was painful.

When Oikawa was putting his boxes in the car, getting ready to go to university, different from the one where Iwaizumi was going of course, he couldn’t stop himself from looking at Hajime’s window. He wasn’t looking out though and Oikawa would lie if he said that it didn’t hurt, but he decided to ignore him. They were basically strangers now, so why would Iwaizumi bother to-

“Oikawa!” He was snapped back into reality by the voice he hasn’t heard say his name for weeks or maybe even months already. He quickly turned around, seeing Iwaizumi standing in front of him, hair messy, still dressed in clothes he always wore at home. “Aren’t you getting ready? I thought you were leaving today too…”

What a way to start talking to a person you were still in love with after he made clear he would never get back in relationship with you.

“I still have few hours.” Iwaizumi said, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Right…” Oikawa said, putting the last box in his dad’s car and closing the door and hoping his father wouldn’t decide to come out from house right now. He looked at Iwaizumi who was still not saying anything, he was just standing there and playing with his bracelets anxiously. Oikawa let out a sigh and forced himself to smile, then moving towards the front door and opening it. “Well, I guess I’ll-“

“Tooru, do you-“ Iwaizumi started but didn’t finish.

“Do I what?” Oikawa felt how his heartbeat started to rise. What if Iwaizumi still loved him? What if he decided he would let Oikawa love him the way he didn’t before? What if-

“Never mind. Good luck with, you know, university…” Iwaizumi breathed out, sliding his hand in his hair nervously. Oikawa nodded and looked at the door of his house.

They probably still had few more minutes to talk.

“Do you regret it?” Oikawa asked after minute of silence.

“Do I regret what?”

“Getting in relationship with me… Breaking up with me.”

“No and not quite.” Iwaizumi answered, leaning against the car with his back.

“Not quite?” Oikawa questioned, looking at him with confused face.

“I know I _had_ to do it, one of us had to… But I wish we didn’t because I still-“ Like always, he started but didn’t finish. He didn’t have to, Oikawa knew what he meant.

“You still love me?” He asked, but it wasn’t really a question because both of them knew the answer. Iwaizumi didn’t say anything, he just looked down at the ground. Oikawa slightly smiled, maybe they still had a chance. “I love you too… I’ve never stopped… Hajime, what if we-“

“Don’t ask me that.” Iwaizumi interrupted, causing Oikawa to move away from the car, stand in front of him with frown and sadness on his face.

“Why?”

“Because you already know the answer. You also know the reason behind my answer.”

“We can try again, Hajime! We will be able to make it work now, I know we will be!” Oikawa said, his voice was already slightly shaking just like his hands. “Please. I love you and you love me, what is the problem?!”

“You know what the problem is, Tooru. You know it just as much as you and I both know us, Tooru. For first two weeks we will act like everything is okay but after those two weeks, we will start breaking each other’s hearts over again. You know it’s already hard for me to break your heart for second time.”

“Then don’t! Just… Just give us a chance again!”

“Please, Tooru. Don’t make this harder than it already is.” Iwaizumi said, blinking away the tears. Oikawa didn’t say anything else for next few seconds, and then he took step forward, ignoring Iwaizumi’s confused face, taking his hand and placing it over his heart. “Wha-“

“I love you… so much.” Oikawa tried forcing himself to say it without his voice breaking but failed, causing tears to escape Hajime’s eyes. “Please, kiss me. For the last time… please.”

“You know if I do that I won’t be able to let you go.” Iwaizumi breathed out, raising his other hand and caressing Oikawa’s cheek, not being able to stop himself from pressing his forehead against his. Oikawa didn’t say anything, just nodded, stepping away while drying the tears harshly. Iwaizumi repeated the five words he hated more than anything.

“It’s for the best, Tooru.”


End file.
